Rocks

I need to write! I mean, do you ever just have so much in you, you just can't get it to come OUT? That's where I am right now, sitting on the front porch swing. And I need to rejoice ALOT, sing ALOT, dance some. Because there have been alot of really hard things for me over the last couple of years. And sometimes I just need to REJOICE in the times where the Lord brings refreshing. And the peace and refreshing He has brought me into the last few days is oh so sweet, sweeter than I could have ever imagined for myself.

Christ in me, the hope of glory!
Be my everything!

And that's how near He has been to me recently. I know He's God, and so technically He's always near. But I mean the times when I can FEEL His manifest Presence. I am consumed. I am so full that no words or song or dance could express what is in my heart. Consumed I tell you. And you know what? Jesus? He LOVES it. He has been my breath, my thoughts, my sleeping and waking, my hope, my heart, my joy, my Life, my tears, my smiles. He is IT!

I feel like a weight has fallen off.
My heart feels free.
And my spirit is restless for more of Jesus.

I feel like this thing that is rolling forward in my heart cannot be stopped. This passion, this consuming love and peace, nothing can hinder it. I am alive to live for Jesus. He gave everything for me. I am free to live, free to give, free to be. Free to love Jesus all I want, and all I can take. And be made complete.

And I know that these things are always true. But sometimes I get in the way of them. Or sometimes my reactions to other people get in the way. Lots of things get in the way. And I know the days will come again soon, where I will feel helpless and broken. Sad and desperate for this emptiness in me to be filled. Longing for HIs Presence to be so close to me again. ANd I will be crying again in the arms of my Jesus. For I know that nothing here on this earth will ever satisfy, and I will fight this emptiness for the rest of my time here. But Jesus will never fail me in my time on this earth. When I am broken, I am comforted and strengthened. I am desperate. And there is no better way to be than desperate in the presence of Jesus.

I hope that when those times return, I will cling to Jesus and remember how sweet it is to walk with Him through everything, and the reward that comes when I do. I pray that future times of refreshing will be sweeter than the one I am in now, and that I would trust Him more in the next trial than I do right now.

But right now, I am full. So full. So full I'm going to burst.

Luke 19:39-41

39Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples!"

40"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

41As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it