A Visit to the Police Station

Saturday I was invited to go out on one of the mobile clinics are team was hosting. Mobile clinics are where we get to take limited healthcare to all of the people who are living in tent cities in Port au Prince. In extreme cases, we found those who were in critical condition and transported them to the hospital. I wasn't sure if this was something I really wanted to do, but by this time I was ready to get outside the four wall of the orphanage and see the city. Also, God had already showed me that He was going to work the way He wanted to so I went out.

We drove through the traffic packed little streets of PAP down to the police station. Aside from this being the first time I had really gotten out to see the city, the smell as we neared the police station grew more and more putrid. The number of Haitians living in sheet tents on the sidewalks without any sign of designated sanitation was overwhelming. The police station is located in the heart of the city, directly across from the palace. We were required to stop here first to pick up Haitian police officers that would travel with us and ensure our safety in case any chaos broke out.

Although the police station had been badly effected by the earthquake, it was still being used as a major headquarters. Not only were the policemen still being housed there, but the major clinic in town was set up on the lower floor, as well as a mini operating room where wound debriding and minor surgeries took place. All of the doctors and nurses that were serving there slept in tents on the roof. It was quite a sight. Within 10 feet of where I was standing, I could hear about 10 different languages being spoken. Literally, people from all over the world were pitching in to serve the Haitian people. This brought me so much hope, and I closed my eyes as I received a small picture of what Heaven will be like one day. Then the realization hit me that heaven is still so abstract and I really can't imagine what it will be like, but I do know that all nations will be represented.

As I mentioned earlier, any expectation of efficiency or speed had to flee. It was clear we were going to be waiting around at the police station for a while as the people in charge tried to figure out which police officers could go out with us. And did I mention it was extremely hot? I hiked up to the roof of the police station, from which you could see most of downtown. The devastation was kind of overwhelming, and I tried to take it all in, trying to sense what God wanted to do and what He wanted to show me in all of this. Surely, it would be difficult to be a blessing (and I felt compelled to be a blessing) if I found myself in a hopeless, desperate state. And God was faithful.

As I looked over the ruins of the city, I did not feel devastated or hopeless but God began to speak to me the love that He had for His people, and the plans that He had to rebuild and restore His people. And I began to experience the power that God pours out on His people. The power and authority that He gives His children to go confidently into battle, claiming His promises and sovereignty over this nation.

After a long while of standing in the hot sun, we were assigned two police officers to go with us on our mobile clinic. It was 10:00 am. We had until 12:00 pm to return the policemen to headquarters because today was their payday. I found out that even on some pay days, they were not always promised to receive their check but they still had to show up in person if they stood a chance of getting paid in order to take care of their families. That gave us about an hour and a half to put on clinic. Whew!

P.S. The brown tents you see in the picture were sent by the Sudanese, and the inside of the tents were covered with the most beautiful green and red patterned material you have ever seen! And because they are familiar with heat and elevated temperatures, the tents were very protective in nature and provided a little respite from the elements!

2 Corinthians 9:8
God is able to make all GRACE abound to you, so that in all THINGS at all TIMES, having all that you NEED, you will abound in every good work.

Haiti Day #3

It is very unlike me to not find out someone's name whom I have encouraged, and yet this is what happened on day #3 in Haiti. I am extremely relational and normally something like this drives me crazy. But God brought me a special opportunity on this day. If I haven't already mentioned this, I have a huge heart for families and children, but especially moms and children. It is what drew me to labor and delivery and it is the reason I am now and OB/GYN nurse.

So on this particular day, God gave me a special opportunity. The first day that I was at the clinic God gave me a vision to see all the kids outside enjoying fresh air and sun and playing, even if they couldn't get out of their bed. So we transferred all of the kiddos to little cots that we had available and took them outside as well as provided them with coloring books, barbies, my little ponies, toy cars and games to stimulate their minds to healing, dreaming and creativity.

On this day, I was walking around watching all of the kids play and occasionally stopping to play with them. As I walked past this mother holding her baby, she stopped me to ask me about an infection that he had. It became apparent very quickly that she was concerned about a raw area that the baby had developed on his genital area. God told me that this mother was very worried that she had either done something to affect this or that she had neglected him in some way. So I asked her if this was true, and she admitted tearfully that it was. She began weeping and weeping. I assured her over and over that she was a good mom (and she was a very good mom, very attentive to her baby). That he was a baby and that sometimes they develop infections. We had medicine that we would give her to treat him and he would be better in no time.

I then began to tell her that God was watching over her baby, we talked through Psalm 139 together. I asked her if she believed what the Bible said was true and she answered yes. She was still weeping. I assured her that her baby having an infection was not God's punishment to her. We then read through the story of the bleeding woman and discussed how it reflects God's nearness to us, His care for His children and His power that He pours out on us.

Through some discussion, she began to describe in detail to me a dream that she had about a year ago where a man in white appeared to her. He told her in the dream that she was chosen to go and be a witness for Him. She was a regular church attender and so had heard about Jesus frequently. The misunderstanding that many Haitians hold is that God is real, but very abstract and very far away, that He cannot really be known.

So, asked her what she thought the dream meant, She thinks it was God. What do you think God was trying to tell you? That she should come to Him. Had she ever thought about the fact that God wants to have a relationship with her? Yes. Had she thought about that in a fond way, did it appeal to her to have a relationship with God? Yes. Had she ever told God that is something that she wanted? No. Would she like to tell God that now? Yes. So, I asked her to pray from her heart. She told me that she didn't know how to pray. She was still weeping. The only answer I could give at that point was to tell her that all you had to say in prayer to God was what you were feeling. That sometimes, in my greatest times of sorrow, the only thing I could do was tell God all that was in my heart and hurting, and that I trusted that God not only could hear me, but that He saw me (just like Hannah's story in 1 Samuel) and that He had a plan to fulfill His promises. And so, she began to pray. Unfortunately, I got so busy I didn't have time to ask my translator what she was praying. But I trusted that if it was the Holy Spirit that moved her, He would lead her to pray.

The best part about this story is that I had really done nothing at all. In fact, the only thing I really got to do was be a part of what God had already started in her. I was so blessed to have gotten such a big picture of God, and to simply be asked to come alongside of God in what He was already working out in her.

Psalm 138:8
The Lord will fulfill His purpose for me; your love endures forever. He will not abandon the works of His hands.

Haiti Day #2

Meet Wuzlyn. She is one of the mom's I had a chance to interact with on a daily basis at the clinic. She is the mother to Joseph (i.e. "Machine me, Stephanie. Machine me!"). She is a dear soul. I sat down with her one afternoon and began to talk to her about Jesus. Let me make it very clear that I do not usually just approach people and start talking to them about Jesus (although I do like to talk about Him alot)! I usually try to find out what the person is experiencing, what their hurts are and see if God leads me from there.

But Wuzlyn is different. I felt the Lord just asking me to go and start talking to her about Him. So, I did. She expressed to me that she had heard about Jesus many time, and even sometimes went to church. She has never had a relationship with Jesus. It became evident very quickly that her primary problem with following God is that she did not want to be a hypocrite, which she repeated many times over. I encouraged her that her attitude was a very noble quality in a woman, because God does not want hypocrites to be His followers. In fact, He is very serious about finding people who genuinely want to love Him and follow His leading.

I shared my brief 10 minute story of the gospel from creation to resurrection (which took about 30 minutes via translating with Reggie). We then took a deep rundown on what the Bible says about hypocrites, and sin. It is by grace that we have been saved, through faith-and this not from ourselves, but it is the gift of God-not by works, that no once can boast. That as fallen men and women, sin is inevitable and is a part of our earthly flesh, but that God desires true repentance. As we practice this, we are not hypocrites but indeed are the children of God being made more and more into the image of Christ.

It was quite clear that she was enjoying our conversation, she was indeed listening intently to the words that that God speaks through HIs word. She would often smile or laugh during parts of the story. My heart fluttered as God began showing me that He was really after this woman's heart.

After about two hours, Wuzlyn proclaimed to me, "Ok, thank you for sharing this with me. I will think about it for two weeks and let you know my decision." I laughed, as I thought to myself, "She doesn't have two weeks if she intends to let me know her decision, she only has about 7 days!" However, I assured her that the outcome of her decision or my knowing about it was not important. It was the Lord who was speaking to her and she needed to wrestle through that with Him. We laughed together as I gently told her, "Wuzlyn, I think God sent me here to tell you that He is waiting for you. My coming here was just so you could know who He was a little more clearly."

Every day that I came into the clinic after that she would smile and then give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Her face lit up every time I came in the door. On the last day, she walked me out of the clinic, inquiring if I would be returning to Haiti. With joy in my heart but sadness over leaving yet another people which I had learned to dearly love, I told her that I was not sure if I would ever be returning to Haiti, or if I did if I would ever see her again. But I assured her that I was only a small speck in her life of what God wanted to do with her. That just like I said the first day we met, "God sent me here to tell you that He is waiting for you with open arms." She is the kind of woman God is looking for to bring Haiti to the place of reconciliation and restoration that God has planned.

I smiled as I walked away, knowing in my heart that God has such greater plans to fulfill in my life than even I have dreamed, and it has something to do with the nations on the earth. So even though I was sad to be leaving, the hope of God's plan for me could not be dampened. And I prayed that Wuzlyn would dream about how God wanted to work in her life, too.

God Has a Sense of Humor

I felt it important to share with you some of the lessons that God shared with me on this trip. One is something I've already mentioned, dropping my own expectations. In fact, let me give you a brief rundown of the conversation that Patricia and I had right before I left:

Patricia: "Do you think you will be working with kids while you are there?"

Me: "Oh no, I don't know anything about assessing kids, I've never worked with kids in nursing. I hope I'll be doing something OB/GYN related like delivering babies but I realize that I might be asked to do anything."

Patricia: "Do you feel like you have already created any expectations for the trip?"

Me: "I'm not sure, I've tried not to."

Patricia: (Gently). "Just remember to be open to what God wants to do through you and where He wants to use you."

Me: "Ok, thanks."

This conversation is one reason why it was so funny that first day when I was assigned to work at the pedi clinic. But God knew that even if my hands were not skilled in nursing with kids, that my heart was right on target. And the things I didn't know about pediatrics and orthopedics, I figured out real quickly. :)

Snap back to several months ago when I was given and offer to pray about coming to work for a ministry in Haiti. I answered that I was not at a point to make that move right now, but that I would commit to praying about it and also finding out a little about the country of Haiti, since I didn't know very much. After a few turn of events that I will not mention here, I ended up standing in my room screaming at God that if He wanted me to go to Haiti, then He better find a different way to tell me. I remember being so frustrated with God and telling Him that He needed to be really clear.

Now, snap forward to be standing in the middle of the pedi clinic, smiling to myself that God has such a sense of humor. That He makes beauty from ashes and mourning into dancing. Our God is the ultimate redeemer. And I once again thought to myself, God is breaking all the rules and pulling out all the stops. So far, He has destroyed every one of my expectations (I didn't even think I had) for this trip, and I love it! How often do we ruin things God wants to put together by lofting up our own expectations (which we sometimes don't even realize) above God's? Relationships, family, work situations, friendships. Oh, Lord help us to break free!

Haiti Day #1

Our first morning in Haiti began at 5:45 am as the beeping of the alarm clock awoke me and my teammates. We had been asked to sign up the night before for assignments that we would like to be placed on. There were several options, and this was the crazy part. Although crowds seemed well controlled and there was no rioting that we witnessed, the place was chaos. There were literally clinics and hospitals set up in any standing building in less than sanitary conditions. I have never seen anything like it. So our options were as follows:

1) The Police Station-where there was a general clinic set up and they also had the capability of doing minor surgeries with minimal anesthesia. The OR table was the police cheif's desk!

2) The University of Miami Hospital-located in a hangar at the airport, U of M set up 4 working operating rooms as well as an an entire wing of a hospital where pt's would go after surgery until they were discharged.

3) Mobile clinics-we take healthcare to the people in tent cities. With minimal meds, we would assess pt's, treat them if possible or take critical cases to the hospital.

4) Pediatric Postop clinic-this clinic had been set up in the chapel at the orphanage where we were staying, so those volunteering here wouldn't leave the base.

5) Commando Unit- some retired army soldiers had full protective gear and would take a few docs/nurses out into PAP to find critical patients that had not yet been identified and treated. If they found dead, they placed them in a body bag and took their bodies to the morgue.

We were told that the goal was to place everyone where they were skilled and would be most useful, but that they would also try to accommodate everyone's desires. I had signed up to go to the University of Miami, since I had circulated in the OR when I worked at the hospital, I thought I could be useful there.

At our morning team meeting, our assignments were announced. I was going to the University of Miami Hospital. Wait, what's that? Not enough people to stay and work at the pedi post op clinic? Nope, I'm staying home today folks. Now, I would be lying if I said that I wasn't a little disappointed. (Are we seeing a theme here yet?) After a brief moment, I decided that if this is where the Lord wanted me to go, here I would stay and work faithfully.

And I must tell you that by the end of the day I was laughing with God. He knows our hearts so well. I had the grandest day! I spent the day getting accustomed to the routines of the day in the clnic- make sure the children are properly medicated, wound care for the amputees, pin care for the femur fractures, bandage changes for the kids who had lost fingers, and finally, play with the kids.

My giftings could not have been more suited for such a setting. I spent alot of time getting to know the kids and the families that first day. Hearing theirs stories, lost hopes and dreams and encouraging them that God has not forgotten them. In fact, He is very near. And then I spent alot of time playing with the kids, most of whom are bedridden due to their full spica casts and pins in their legs. Reggie was our translator for the clinic, a young 23 year old computer science guy. He was so gentle and loving, and when he was not needed translating, he would spend time playing with the kids. He was so sweet to watch. Balloons, puzzles, Candyland and Chutes and Ladders were a hit as well as coloring books and hot wheels. Little boys in Haiti call hot wheels "machines" so by the end of the day every little boy in that place was screaming, "Stephanie, machine me, machine me!" I also taught several of them how to use my stethoscope, which was a huge hit!

There is something special about children that can not be duplicated. Their resilience, joy, and innocence brings so much of God's Kingdom to this earth and the verse (Luke 18:16), "Let all of the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these." And I realize more and more that this is the posture I am to have before God. And I pray that my response to God would become more like it has on this trip, and less like it has been stateside. That I would experience disappointments with a small sting, and then quickly pick up and press forward with confidence to take hold of the plans that He has for me!

Dreaming With God

While I have your attention, I would like to share something with you that God has been teaching me. He is giving me a larger Kingdom mindset. After praying for so long that I would see God outside of the box that I have put Him in, I now see that He is answering that prayer and bringing me to a new level.

This is a quote from Bill Johnson's book, Dreaming With God: Co-Laboring with God for Cultural Transformation:

"The renewed mind understands that the King's dominion must be realized in all levels of society for an effective witness to take place. Someone with a Kingdom mind-set looks to the overwhelming needs of the world and says, 'God has a solution for this problem. And I have legal access to His realm of mystery. Therefore I will seek Him for the answer!'"

God, help us to dream with you...

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