The Hope in Sin

There are days when I don't take my sins with the seriousness that I should, because I know that I am a child of God and forgiven. And I am thankful for that forgiveness, but this isn't a correct view of God. I am forgiven, but that doesn't mean that my sin doesn't cause some detrimental problems in my life, and my relationship with God.

After the Israelites conquered Jericho, the Lord had instructed them not to take any Jerichoan treasures or devoted things. They were for the Lord. But one Achan did take treasures for himself, and it caused a loss to his entire people. As the Israelites pressed on in life, they found that they did not achieve victory in their next battle over the land of Ai. Joshua felt humiliated and "tore his clothes and fell facedown to the ground." (vs6). The Lord's response (vs10), "Stand up! What are you doing down on your face?"

Now, this would not be an uncommon posture towards God, often indicated worship and submission, but the Lord instructs him to stand up, and then questions his purpose. Then we see God instruct Joshua that Achan had defiled the name of the Lord, "Israel has sinned; they have violated my covenant, which I commanded them to keep. They have taken some of the devoted things; they have stolen; they have lied, they have put them with their own possessions. That is why the Israelites cannot stand against their enemies; they turn their backs and run because they have been made liable to destruction. I will not be with you anymore unless you destroy whatever among you is devoted to destruction." (vs13) "You cannot stand against your enemies until you remove it."

Essentially, God is telling Joshua:

1) Your people have sinned against me and have violated my covenant.
2) They have tried to take control over what is mine and made it their own.
3) This separated them from me.
4) Your sin is why you do not have victory now.
5) You will not have victory until you rid yourself of it.
6) Now, quick stand up...get off your face and get rid of the sin...now!

This got me thinking. How many times have I sinned by trying to take control of what is God's? How often do I feel a pressing urgency to repent? How much does my God love me that he desires my obedience and will do anything to get it? Why do I keep expecting victory in my own life if I do not confess my sins before the Lord? How often does my sin keep me from taking hold of all the Lord has for me? Victory over sin only comes in my life when I am intimate with the Lord...confessing each and every time I sin against him, allowing him to redeem me over and over again.

Achan's sin brought defeat for his entire people and his family. Sin is not a private battle, other people sometimes experience the consequences of our sin and that grieves me even more than hurting myself. In the end, Israel was redeemed once again but they lost a family in the process. For the Lord required not only the death of Achan and everything that he owned, but also of his entire family. They were stoned to death and then burned and buried in a place called the Valley of Achor (or trouble).

There are many times where the Bible talks about forgiveness of sins, and that is all true. But it does not mean that we can take our sin lightly. The weight of this is on me today, and I am truly thankful for the Cross. Thankful that my God no longer requires my death to make right my sin, because Christ has already taken that for me. Instead, now I have many opportunities for HIm to use me in showing HIs glory. I will experience defeat, I will hurt people in the wake of my sin, but hope stands. Hope that the only God worth worshipping has given me life...every minute of everyday.

Lesson: Get rid of sin as fast as you can, ask God for a repentant heart.

Hosea 2:15
"I will give her back her vineyards, and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope."

Isaiah 43:11-12
"I, even I, am the Lord, and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed-I, am not some foreign god among you. You are my witnesses," declares the Lord, "that I am God."

Isaiah 44: 24-25
But you have burdened me with your sins
and wearied me with your offenses.

25 "I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more.

The Charity Girls

Let me tell you about a group called the Charity Girls.

A 4th grader by the name of Maddie wanted to create a way for girls who know Christ and those who do not to come together and do something for the greater good of their community. So, she gathered some friends she knew that wanted to make the world a better place and share the love of Christ with those who don't know Him, and hence was born The Charity Girls. They serve on various projects, and they were kind enough to help me out with the Destiny Library Project, collecting a load of books to send to my sweet children in Zambia.

I love God that uses anyone who calls on Him with a pure heart to further His kingdom and show the love of Christ. I love that He gave me a beautiful 4th grader named Maddie to show me His glory and His love for the children of Zambia. And I love that I get to share it with you! In one simple act, God connected the hearts of His children across the globe. I hope that I will get to return to Zambia and see the library and photograph my kids amidst it, and be able to return home to show that to this beautiful group of girls.

There is absolutely nothing that disqualifies us from the love of Christ or that He is not able to use for His glory. And I'm so thankful for that, because I mess up....ALOT.

Thank you Charity Girls! Keep Shining!

More Pics

Several people have requested that I post more pictures on my blog from my short stay in Africa this summer. So, i thought I would hop to it as well as give an update on the library project.

The Lord has blessed this project immensely, and I am so excited to get the books over there to see what the Lord will do with them in the community of Matero. So far, I have collected around 400-500 books and will continue to collect until the end of October. At that time, I will then begin shipping books to Zambia. There have already been three individuals that have offered to pay for the whole of shipping costs, which was such a blessing beyond measure.

Also, people have donated alot of different booklet bible studies that I will be able to give to the church. I think this will be a wonderful way to help the church members walk through deepening their faith in Christ. What a wonderful thing the Lord has done through all of you! What a blessing you are to so many children (and adults) who will soon have access to these books!

Thank you a million times over. I hope to be able to post another update soon!

Library Update

Hey Y'all! Just wanted to send a quick update on the Library. Thank you to everyone who has already donated or has offered to donate their used books! I am so thankful that the Lord has stirred your heart for this library.

So far, I have collected about 175-200 books with more people still promising to give. A majority of those are children's books and they are AWESOME! I am still collecting books for all ages-children, teens, young adults, adults. I wish I could see the faces of the Destiny children when those first books arrive! I will try to send the first shipment some time next week.

Several people have asked me how many books I am planning to collect. Let me address this with: as many as you have to give. All of them will be used (as long as they pass the Stephdar (Steph radar).

So, thank you a million times over for giving my sweet Destiny children and the Matero community the opportunity for knowledge and books! Keep them coming!

Help Me Start a Library

While in Zambia, I frequently became overwhelmed by the need that surrounded me. Honestly, it becomes easy to focus on the need rather than the sufficiency of Christ, but with the Lord's grace I tried to keep a healthy balance.

But there is something that the Lord has laid on my heart. SOmething that will bring God glory and help the community of Matero. Matero is the community where the school that I work with calls home. The school is called Destiny. That school is also a church, of which my friend Peter is the pastor. The has no textbooks, which in itself is a problem. But Peter expressed a desire to start a library in the school.

The beautiful thing about the building serving as a school and a church is that the library will be beneficial to all-children of all ages, young adults, parents, elders. So I would like to start seeking resources to begin building a library. I will send books there as I make collections.

I know you are burning to know if the children read English. The answer is, some of them do. Some of them are learning, and some of them might learn if they had a library of something to read from. My hope is that this will serve as a resource for them to learn English, empowered by the Holy Spirit.

I am asking you to consider looking through your bookshelves. Maybe there are books you've never read or have just been sitting on your shelf for a while, untouched. Consider donating them to the Destiny library. Please don't give me your trashy romance novels or inappropriate material (not that any of you have those laying around). But let's make this a library that will not only deepen the knowledge that the Zambians have about God, but strengthen them in faith and hope of Christ.

I need:
1) Books for all school age children, including materials for teenagers.
2) Fun books
3) Books related to spiritual growth-for women or men.
4) Books on spiritual leadership

I appreciate any help that I can get, and I know it will be such a blessing for my Zambian friends. Books are a rarity and a great expense.

The City to Come

Thank you to everyone for all of your warm welcome homes! You are a beautiful gift from the Lord, and He really reminded me through each of you the love and care that He has for me. I can't describe the ways that I have been able to see His faithfulness and preparation in my life, but I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

The last Sunday that I was in Zambia, I attended my favorite local church, pastor by my friend Peter Kaunda. During our singing worship time, my heart became so overwhelmed with thankfulness at all of the friendships and opportunities I had while in Zambia. My only response was to fall to my knees, and thank HIm for his faithfulness. To thank Him for the grace I receive every time I sin, that He reminds me I am forgiven and that I am a masterpiece in progress-everyday. And even if I never get it right, I am still forgiven, and that doesn't keep me from being used by God. I am always loved by my Jesus. The congregation prayed over us to send us home, as did Peter. At the very end of the service, one of my own girls (Dorothy) came up to pray over us as well as another church member. It is the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. Not only to have a "church home" in Zambia, my second home-but to have one of my own that I love so much come and pray over me. I know the girls didn't want me to go, but they sent me well.

So I am home now experiencing all of the mixed emotions that one feels when they are not sure where they belong, except in heaven...one of these days. I have truly understood at a deep heart level Hebrews 13:14 which says, "For here we do not have and enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come." I praise God for the day I will have all of my friends in one place and we are sitting in the presence of I AM.

I am so thankful that the Lord has joined me with the Flenniken family, who I am now staying with in Georgetown. They have so warmly and deeply opened their home to me. After living in such close quarters in Africa, it feels so good to come home to a family that loves and seeks the Lord and shares the same passion for missions that I do. I am truly blessed. Patricia and Greg (mom and dad), Noah (2 years old) and Keilah, Kelsea and Krista (12th grade, 10th grade, and 8th grade) make up the Flenniken family. They have already been such a blessing to me, and for however long the Lord enables me to remain I am looking forward to this time with them.

I am in no rush to hurry back into a job which will distract me from seeking the Lord's next steps. I know without a doubt that He has given me a heart for Africa, for the people and culture. I'm not exactly sure what that looks like in the future, but I trust that God does and that He reveals when He is ready. So much of life is preparation, so I am resting in that and trying to learn all I can. I love you all! Thank you for your love, prayers, and believing in me!

Saying Goodbye

That sickness really took me to the ground, and very much put me behind on my blog. I feel like so much has happened that I'm not sure what subject to write about. There have been multiple visits to my kid's homes; fun times at camp with John, Paul, Erin and Elaine; not having a kitchen for a week and washing our dishes outside in the tap, and many other things.

I'm sorry that I have been quiet on the blog. I look forward to writing alot more when I return home and have more time (now that I am unemployed). I have been busy preparing to say goodbye to all of my wonderful friends here, who feel more like my family. The Lord has really showed His grace and goodness in the midst of goodbyes. Today was the last day of camp, when all of the Zambians encircle the Americans and sing and prayed for us. For the first time in four years, I didn't cry. And not because I wasn't sad, but because the Holy Spirit filled me with so much joy. I clearly heard the Lord telling me, "I am not done with you in this place yet." I felt so comforted that I could only smile and think of how I can see the Lord preparing me for bigger things. My friend Pastor Raphael found me today and said that he just really felt led to pray for the Lord's blessing over my life, and then he did. I can see so many ways in which the Lord has blessed me and I can't imagine what more He might have in store, but look forward to living it out.

So this weekend I will be visiting with many friends, and seeing my kids for one last hoorah. They are always sad to see me go, but I've asked them to pray for my return with God's blessing. It is always sad to say goodbye, and makes my heart long all the more for heaven where we will be together singing praises to our King. But some part of me is ready to come home too, in order to see where the Lord will take me next.

I am so thankful for my Saviour, who loves me more than I could have ever imagined. That He takes care of me, comforts me, strengthens me and leads me. This will be my last post from Zambia, but look forward to seeing you all again very soon and sharing with you in person. Thank you, a million times over for your prayers and support. I definitely could not have made it through the summer without you.